Gelato Hotties

I should talk about why I was in Italy I suppose. That only makes sense I guess since from reading over what I’ve written it just sounds like a pleasure trip while staying at a military base — whiiiccchh in a lot of ways, yes, it was this exact thing. But it’d be silly to say that I wasn’t working at all.

In one sentence or less here’s what I was doing: I was the camp photographer/videographer for Club Beyond Beach Break 2008 which is a summer camp for military kids based out of Europe of which the Hohenfels, Germany base club is my brother in law’s area. My sister and b.i.l. are missionaries to military kids in germany and he was the assistant director for this camp. Basically I was the photo-bitch that followed everyone around and tried to get nice pictures of everyone. The inherent problem with this is that I was never introduced as such and when I came up to snap a picture of a group of highschool girls, interesting responses were heard. Thus, I had to make quick friends with a bunch of highschoolers (and middleschoolers the second week) and try to be around them enough to get some nice candid photos. It was harder than expected. But, the kids were really cool and quick to befriend a goofy ass photographer. I worked along a group of college and post college people from Houston, TX. that made the trip much more enjoyable along the way. I guess that was nowhere near a single sentence. But anyways, it made for a fun month that would’ve otherwise been only a semi-fun month with last minute photography notices all hours of the day. More about my duties later on.

The night before the highschool campers were due to arrive, it was decided that the workers would go out to the local city, Tirennia, and get some gelato. Gelato, for those who are wondering, is basically ice cream with half the amount of cream and butterfat than normal american ice cream. But it is easily much more tasty and fulfilling than normal ice cream. Very inventive flavors make for a pleasure inducing experience that doesn’t leave your stomach reeling, even after 3 large scoops. My personal favorite combination was Tiramisu, Caffe and Cioccolatto. I think you can figure out what the american derivative might be. If you can’t then you deserve to be beaten and locked away because you are retardddeeddd. (Little tommy boy ref.) I also heavily jonesed on Cannella or Cinnamon flavored gelato; it was pure lust in my mouth. 

It’s at this point that I should reference one of my future wives that I encountered a few times. This wife was the gelato girl at my favorite gelato place that I visited — in downtown Tirrenia. I had heard about her from previous visitors but was not able to understand the dumbfoundness until I had her hand me 3 scoops of delicious gelato. She had the beautiful tuscan look; dark eyes, dark skin, dark hair, but light in demeanor and personality. Some may say that I’m reading too far into someone that I had a somewhat surface based relationship, or customer/vendor relationship, but to them I say that they are WRONG, DEAD WRONG. She also had a really cool tattoo on the top of her wrist that was a mix of filligree and peacock leaves. And by leaves I mean feathers. (I guess I could’ve edited that.) So, all through out my stay in Tirennia and my multiple trips to the gelateria, I bombarded this little scooptress with waves of suggestive body language and understanding eyes that said “I love you and your delicious flavored, low-fat alternative to american style ice cream”. She totally responded to me with lovin’ spoonfuls of my favorite flavors of what I have called the dark-light cream. 

At the height of my gelato inspired courtship with the tirennian gelato girl, I blundered. A trio of young american friends headed out for some gelato love one evening with myself included. For some reason, I was donning a pair of Heelies tennis shoes. Heelies are shoes with wide roller-blade type wheels in the heels. They’ve been around since I was a young fart but I’ve never strapped them on until that night. I had a healthy/sweaty 20 minute practice session in which I progressed from stumbling dumb ass to semi-stumbling dumb ass. As we pulled up to the gelateria, I planned my heroic approach to the gelato girl and my declaration of love. It would be epic. She would leap over the counter into my waiting arms whereupon we would heely off into the sunset…

The reality was much more bleak. I heeled somewhat successfully to the entrance and then proceeded to heely headfirst into the sneeze guard of the gelato. I popped back up to a puzzled, unamused face that said “give me your damn money you stupid american”.  Ah well, maybe we’ll heely off into the sunset with gallons of gelato in tow the next time I am in Italy for a month…


2 responses to “Gelato Hotties

  1. Ok, so you cannot just leave your biasedly favorite gelato flavors out there for others and not expound upon the best…caramelo and chocolate (duo gusti gratzi). And that particular gelateria, was not in Tirennia, but rather in…I’m thinking…ok, outside or rather past Tirennia. Remember that was the night we got lost with #1 stunner.

  2. ha~~ i can picture that~~ and dude, just so you know, gelato is also served in korea and you can try such flavors as sweet potato, corn, cheese, wine, sweet red bean, … and of course we did.

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