The In-Betweens

I’ve definitely been dealing with a case of the In-Betweens this past month… you know, the time In-Between traveling where you’d much rather be traveling than dealing with real life back home. I guess this sounds a lil’ bit escapist of me but with the nutty few days/weeks leading up to my current travels, I was ready to jet from the 314 back to the land of milch & honig; Germany.

California ended nicely with some lazy beach days and wonderfully long death hike where my San Diegoan compadre, Dr. Josh Boston, kept up in stellar fashion going balls to the wall off the Kway Paay Trail in Mission Trails Park – a glorious freaking park that I wish was in my back yard. The next day was spent wandering around Carlsbad while Dr. Boston was in surgery. Aside from being a long day of seeing everything this town has to offer, it was nice to just sit and chill, letting the california lifestyle and sea air seep into my pores. I envied the kids cruising past on their skateboards with surfboards under their arm for some afternoon surfing. I instantly wished that my youth had been full of skateboarding and surfing after going to a Saved by the Bell school in So. Cal. In fact, I wished this alot of times as I saw kids hanging out on the beach and looking very happy overall and I began to get a little wistful, thinking of what just such a childhood might’ve been like. Then I thought to myself and realized that my youth was pretty damn fun for the most part and that nothing is ever as perfect as you can imagine it to be. (This would be nice if I had arisen to this conclusion by myself but I actually read it in Choke by Chuck Palahniuk at the heighth of my wistfulness). And it’s true, you can dream up all sorts of perfect situations for yourself but reality tends to never meet these expectations (I say ‘tends’ because we’ve all had moments that seem more perfect than you ever expected; I think they happen less as you get older).

After my wanderlusting trysts around the west, St. Louis life was actually a welcome feel to come back too. I say this quite a bit but there is really nothing like stepping off the plane and walking into the (normally humid) St. Louis evening. It just smells so damn much like ‘home’ and is the perfect bookend to a nice trip. I love it and tend to tell people about this feeling quite a bit with them looking at me quizzically. So I had a nice hour of relaxation back in the lou before life got hectic for a good month. My freelance career started to pick up some steam and I was working on branding campaigns in the evening while working downtown at a design firm during the day. It was good for me to do this because it helped me realize why I don’t want to work at a full-time desk job ever again – not that I was having thoughts of wanting to get corporate again.

All in all, may turned out to be a great month 🙂 The radiohead concert was probably one of the best starts to summer in recent memory and completely swept me off my feet. There were definitely a few moments when the music took me places that I would fail at describing. These feelings are one of those times where your expectations are succeeded and you explode with joy. For me, they happen with (in order of most frequent) nature, music, relationships. The curve is quite steep between nature and relationships. I can easily go out into any sort of wooded area and feel real joy just by walking around. It is less easy to find someone with who you connect so well that being with them makes happiness and joy seep out your eyeballs. But, still totally possible. 🙂 Musical elation doesn’t happen to often either – i don’t think most bands/people can capture this elusive joy-giver. But when it does, it connects really hard and transcends you. The last time I felt this way before Radiohead was at the TV on the Radio concert in Columbia, Mo. Before that was !!! at the Duck Room.

So, other than quick work-related trip to Kansas City (which is one of the tidiest cities I’ve ever seen) I’ve been docked at Bay Saint Louis for a solid month accruing all sorts of reasons to leave for a month to the Tuscany region of Italy. I hope my adventures will be worthy to write about (much less read about) and that I don’t imagine anything to be more perfect than it will actually be. This isn’t really hard though being in the surroundings of the hands-down coolest nephew in the world and my sister, who still remains very close to me despite being thousands of miles apart. I hope to get some entries in pretty frequently so I hope everyone out there is still staying bored enough to spend precious minutes reading my writings. If not, and you’re staying so busy that you tap your feet impatiently with the slightest hindrance to your schedule then go take a walk out into some woods and try your damnedest not to think about tomorrow or yesterday. This always helps me.

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4 responses to “The In-Betweens

  1. thats funny that you said try not to think about yest. or tomorrow. bc just last night i was struggling with that. i was doing exactly that. thinking about those and then i very consciencously told myself to stop and just enjoy work. we are kindred my friend.

  2. oh yeah, and i liked that idea about st. lou being bookends to your trip.

  3. christhemonster

    hey man. im finally getting a chance to read your stuff. i dig it. chuck is right, nothing is as perfect as we can imagine. also… your ‘enjoy the now’ thoughts… reminds me of this little zen story:

    A Zen Tale from Japan

    There was once a man who was being chased by a ferocious tiger across a field. At the edge of the field there was a cliff. In order to escape the jaws of the tiger, the man caught hold of a vine and swung himself over the edge of the cliff. Dangling down, he saw, to his dismay, there were more tigers on the ground below him! And, furthermore, two little mice were gnawing on the vine to which he clung. He knew that at any moment he would fall to certain death. That’s when he noticed a wild strawberry growing on the cliff wall. Clutching the vine with one hand, he plucked the strawberry with the other and put it in his mouth.

    He never before realized how sweet a strawberry could taste.

  4. Thanks boi’s. That zen tale made my chi hurt. I’ve heard it before too. I still go “that’s cool, what about the damn tigers that are going to rip him apart?” Maybe the strawberry turns into a hand grenade?

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